Two weeks in, and I’m still in awe of how amazing the Universe worked its magic to turn things great for me. The Universe saved me; I am one of the lucky ones.
The last couple of years have been tough, to the point that I’ve grown so desperate and anxious towards what direction life’s taking me. I’ve felt stuck, stressed, and just literally burnt out, and to add salt into the wound, more than ever, I’ve felt powerless to change my course because of the pandemic.
I was not much of a risk taker. I like it safe. I like it when I can see and calculate what’s about to come. I like it when I understand the pattern. I had reason to be – I am a breadwinner of my family, and the thought of risking a career move during this crisis gave nothing but an overwhelming fear of not being able to provide.
I thought about seeking other sources of income – I dove into the gig economy. For a few months in 2021, I was juggling 2 clients on top of my main work. It wasn’t hard, but I still had to sacrifice my personal time, and I wasn’t happy about it. The whole set up was tolerable until it wasn’t. The demand from each grew, and before I knew it I was already drowning. I had to stop. I had to revert to my old work state. When I did, my self confidence dropped, unhealthy thoughts grew- I started comparing how my peers have been earning more than myself. It felt unfair, I was the hardworking one. Eventually, it made me realize that thinking about it wouldn’t change anything, so I shrugged it off. At that point, my anxiety was just at its peak. I was losing control of things.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I’ve never communicated this to my superior. I’ve always asked what else I had to change, what I had to do to become better, in the hopes that I’d get better KPI scores and eventually become in the running to be promoted to a higher role. I’ve always shown I was willing to stay. It probably wasn’t a good idea – I might have been misconstrued that I was ok to stay and get stuck in the same place.
Fast forward to October when I was just badly managing my anxiety, an email came to offer a possible work opportunity from a LinkedIn contact. I took it. In my mind I was managing my expectations that I’d probably drop it eventually and the whole interview journey was just to “practice and sharpen my rusty interview skills.” I was so sure that I’d get rejected somewhere in the interview process. To my surprise, by some Universe magic, I pulled through. It turned out that the role demand was exactly the same as how I was doing it in my role. I swear it was like the Universe dropped a tailor fit job opportunity, right when I needed it. The most important part was the job offer, and my jaw just dropped to the floor as I was offered significantly higher than the expected salary I communicated. I was on cloud 9. I couldn’t believe it that I asked the recruiter for a couple of days to think about it. I was so used to getting tired and burned out in a routinary fashion, that I was thinking about rejecting the offer. I felt like like I wasn’t ready for that kind of change.
I spent that time to consult my family and friends. They spoke the nicest words – the affirmation and validation that I needed; I deserved what came for me. They’ve been nothing but supportive and positive about this leap, and I’m very much thankful for them for virtually holding my hand, and rooting for me on that very important life decision. With an overwhelming support and a replenished self confidence, I accepted the job offer.
I know it’s too early to tell, but the last couple of weeks have been warm and filled with so much support from my new colleagues. It was a culture shock, but it was the good kind. I’ve never felt this happy. I think I’m in a very good place.
Thank you Universe. Thank You, Higher Power.
BRAINFART 